
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Lincoln and I love to play a game every night before bed. He likes to see how much he can make mom laugh by beating the ever-living shit out of me while I just lie there and take it. It usually ends when mom is satisfied I&#8217;ve had enough when I&#8217;m curled in the fetal position weeping quietly she will call him over and he will go lie down and sleep all innocent and peacefully. Usually, that&#8217;s that every night our normal routine some hardcore abuse here maybe a bloody nose there he might change it up by trying to smother me with a pillow but it always ends when mom says its time to go night-night and he saunters off to neverland. Well, this night he decided I hadn&#8217;t had enough and took a detour back to the smackdown hotel. As in the pitch blackness I slowly let my guard down and relax my tensed up muscles for the next beating. When all of the sudden I felt like a bowling had just crushed my soul. I guess while I lie there all helpless he climbed to the third turnbuckle went ohhhh yeeeaaahhhh and jimmy supafly snuka&#8217;ed a diving headbutt straight to my family jewels. &#8220;Aaaarrrrggghhhb HE JUST DIVING HEADBUTTED ME IN THE DICK! ( pardon the language I was in a lot of pain) I screamed as I writhed in sheer agony for what seemed like an eternity all the while my wife&#8217;s bellowing cackle of laughter echoed throughout the house her face now streaming with tears. Now kids are highly impressionable and soak up information like a sponge so beware what you say, Lincolns limited vocabulary grew by one in that instant. As I felt my soul slowly coming back to my body I heard a gleeful screaming chant of &#8221; DICK! DICK! DICK! DICK! &#8221; interspersed with the giddy laughter of a child&#8217;s innocence I blacked out from the pain. Having kids is wonderful</p>




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