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&NewLine;<p class&equals;"wp-block-paragraph">Life is about the quiet moments&period; The moments you get to treasure and reflect upon all your happiest memories&period; Tonight was no such night for me&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"wp-block-paragraph">Perhaps some of you remember that my dog decided to remodel my bathroom&period; My porcelain throne is no longer a safe place for me I am instead relegated to the last place in this house that I can unequivocally call my own&period; My recliner&period;  I don&&num;8217&semi;t get much time to sit in it these days usually just confined to short bursts while I&&num;8217&semi;m waiting on the kids&period; Tonight was different tho Walker didn&&num;8217&semi;t have any practices or homework so we got to sit down and watch a movie together&comma; another rare occurrence&period; Shortly after the movie and Walker fighting going to bed Amber puts on Moana one of my very favorites as I&&num;8217&semi;m gleefully singing away &lpar;imagine a smooth Lionel Richie mixed with the steady drive of Johnny Cash&rpar; I lean back giving in to the pillowy embrace of my faux leather cloud&period; As I descend I hear a tiny creak&comma; like the last thread of my strained jeans ripping as I drop it like its hot&period; The recliner no longer restrained gives in to the power of gravity and thus I begin the longest and slowest fall of my life&period; I was able to utter a calm &&num;8220&semi;oh no&period;&period;&&num;8221&semi; To alert my wife to my predicament&period; Her reaction was not of concern&period;&period; The soundtrack of my descent was the loudest most annoying cackle of laughter that seemed to last an eternity&period;  Five minutes later when I finally reached the ground there I lay in a twisted pile of bent metal&comma; pleather and depression&period; As I accepted my fate content with spending the rest of my days laying here listening to the echoes of my wifes maniacal laughter a little pitter-patter approaches with his giant bobblehead expressing concern&period; At least someone was concerned&period; I hand Lincoln my phone&comma; so I can assess the situation&comma; which he promptly smashes my face with&period; Fearing further harm I execute a perfect back handspring&period; Looking at the mangled car wreck that used to be a chair I get it&period; I need to go on a diet&period;<a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;facebook&period;com&sol;hashtag&sol;newyearnewme&quest;&lowbar;&lowbar;eep&lowbar;&lowbar;&equals;6&amp&semi;&lowbar;&lowbar;cft&lowbar;&lowbar;&lbrack;0&rsqb;&equals;AZWqMziTAXkC9duOLtsxwgOoNnYgwrSlIu2s-mNlc9f0DdEQWVG0bEevfLBBu-cuQdh5XmHJ&lowbar;yg-SuUHHHSSf28Hii2tV-uTU0b569wMQBaxgdtE9Nm04WaWPVtFj5YByghYYYe94uNhwKTUsJ33N5ykuMZObbIiWq784yETaWc7tw&amp&semi;&lowbar;&lowbar;tn&lowbar;&lowbar;&equals;&ast;NK-R"> &num;newyearnewme<&sol;a> maybe I shouldnt buy recliners from amazons deal of the day&period; Im pretty sure Amber passed out from laughing at my misfortune&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<div class&equals;"wp-block-jetpack-rating-star" style&equals;"text-align&colon;left" itemprop&equals;"reviewRating" itemscope itemtype&equals;"http&colon;&sol;&sol;schema&period;org&sol;Rating"><p><span aria-hidden&equals;"true">⭐<&sol;span><&sol;p><span style&equals;"display&colon; 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